Myles Garrett slammed quarterback Mason Rudolph over the head with his own helmet. The Houston Astros are under investigation for stealing signs with surveillance equipment. Penn State quarterback Sean Clifford has deleted his social media accounts due to receiving death threats after the Nittany Lions’ loss at Minnesota.
Those are just a few headlines from this past week. To characterize the state of sports today, you can simply lift the title from the 1963 action comedy, “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.”
Sports are supposed to be fun and entertaining to help get our minds off of real issues. To counter the craziness, here’s a carefree sports list to debate and maybe conjure up a few smiles.
Top 5 Classic Sports Moments in TV Sitcoms
5. Cunningham Kidnapped from State Semifinal
In the quarterfinal round, Richie Cunningham comes off the bench with 10 seconds remaining and knocks down a mid-range buzzer beater to win it for Jefferson High School.
Their next opponent, Fillmore High School, sends in Sheena Dubuois to seduce and distract Cunningham hours before the big game. They meet at Arnold’s, where four guys are waiting to detain Cunningham as the game is being played. Fortunately, The Fonz shows up, basically snaps his fingers, and Richie is free.
Cunningham arrives mid-game and lights up Fillmore with a flurry of baskets. With one second remaining and Jefferson down by two, Cunningham is fouled. He drains his first underhand free throw, but the second rattles off the rim and the game is lost.
Not all is lost, though. The Fonz comes down from the stands, offers his condolences, and leaves with Sheena Dubuois.
4. Wade Boggs “Pantsed” at Cheers
Cheers and Gary’s Old Town Tavern are engaged in another war of practical jokes.
Gary visits Cheer to congratulate the crew on winning the battle. As a token of respect, he sends personal friend, Wade Boggs, over to the bar to sign autographs. Carla, Norm, and Cliff aren’t buying it will actually be Boggs.
Boggs enters the bar and introduces himself to Woody. Norm responds, “Wade Boggs, huh? Yeah, how you doing I’m Babe Ruth!”
The angry group chases Boggs out of the bar. Carla returns with his pants, and when Norm checks the wallet, they soon realize the joke is on them and that they “pantsed” the real Wade Boggs.
Sammy returns to hear the story and says, “So that’s who was out there in his underwear in traffic.”
3. Homer Simpson Pinch Hits for Darryl Strawberry
Monty Burns makes a $1 million wager on the company league championship softball game. He brings in Jose Canseco, Wade Boggs, Don Mattingly, Ken Griffey, Jr. and company to guarantee a victory.
All of the ringers experience mishaps the night before the game, allowing the nuclear plant players to take the field. The only MLB player to show up is Darryl Strawberry, so Homer sits the bench.
With the bases loaded and game on the line, Homer is called to pinch hit. As he watches coach Burns go through a series of signs, he’s beaned in the head, allowing the winning run to score. Homer is heroically carried around the field by his teammates, still unconscious.
2. Greg Brady is going straight to the Bigs!
Don Drysdale visits the Brady household and offers a few pitching tips and words of encouragement to Greg. Unfortunately, Greg’s head quickly swells and he’s convinced that he’ll be a major league pitcher.
Greg becomes unbearable to the Brady kids and his grades begin to slip. He’s dismissed education and unveils his career plan. “None of that minor league stuff for me. I’m gonna start right at the top!”
In his next pitching start, Greg gets lit up and never makes it out of the first inning. Peter and Bobby seemed to take pleasure in the outing. “They clobbered him. He couldn’t get anybody out. They scored 12 runs in the first inning and then the coach gave Greg the hook!”
Mike Brady went upstairs to pick up the shattered pieces.
1. Costanza plows through Bette Midler at home plate
Hands down the top choice. The cast of Rochelle Rochelle squares off against the Improv in a charity softball game. George Costanza is behind home plate as Bette Midler comes to bat. He immediately begins the trash talk. “Yeah I caught that, what was it, Beaches on cable last night. Wind Beneath My Wings? Give me a break.”
Jerry fires in a called third strike to retire Midler.
Midler is now catching when Costanza comes to the plate. She summons the outfield to move in. Costanza then connects, launching a shot over the left fielder’s head. He races around the bases like a frantic child being chased by yellow jackets. The ball arrives at home before Costanza, so he promptly barrels Midler over and into the fence, jarring the ball loose for the game-winning run.
The cast chases George and Jerry through Central Park, while Kramer tends to Midler with a pineapple water ice.
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